It's not all in the attitude. It's not about who wants it the most. Trust me, I know. If it were true, my best friend Fanny would be at my bedside right now, holding my hand, helping me through this just as I tried with all my might to help her.

Fanny was the strongest, most determined person I've ever met. She was clear right from the start: she was not giving up. She was not, not, not going to die. She would fight, and she would win. She had faith, she had hope, she had such unbelievable strength. She believed in miracles. When the doctors told her there was nothing more they could do, that they wanted to stop her treatments to make her more comfortable, she told them, without the slightest bit of hesitation, to keep going. When they told her there was nothing more to try, she told them to keep looking.

She bought new, warm boots in September, because she knew we were going to take long walks together that winter, and who wants cold feet?

We laughed for hours, every time we were together. We talked about everything, the normal things, things that might not matter to someone who's about to die, but that are of great importance to someone with a long, happy life ahead of her.

She did everything right. And she didn't make it. On September 21st, last year, she died. She was so incredibly brave, so wondrously loved, and in the end, it didn't make a difference.

/Annika Marklund/

Ugye, nem csak én szeretnék sírni, és rohanni, hogy minél hamarabb felfedezzem a rák ellenszerét?